Erza's favorite cake
by dead.but.true
Summary: Another Magical Stoner AU. Natsu, Lucy and Gray decide to bake a cake - spiced of course. All of a sudden, a familiar redhead drops by and decides to have a slice. What will happen, when the strictest woman in Fairy Tail eats this? T for drugs.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

 **A/N: Back again with another magical stoner AU! These stories are somewhat strange but funny…I wrote this one more or less as a request by Julius Night. The story is short – again – but this time Erza gets a little "action", too. Enjoy!**

It was another easy going day for us potheads in the rowdy guild Fairy Tail. Natsu, Gray and I weren't by far the only ones who enjoyed a little date with Maryjane, but we were definitely the top-consumers of the guild. Fortunately we have a very skilled mage in out guild – Droy – who used plant magic and thus grew a few nice plants.

It was a sunny day, and usually we would either hang out at my apartment puffing a little or hang out in the woods, doing the same. But after we nearly got caught by Erza, we wanted to try something new and less obvious; also, it was recommended by Mira. That's right, we wanted to bake a cake.

Mira had given me a recipe, and we bought a little flask of oil off Droy. After I bought the other ingredients and carried them back, we wanted to start.

"These bags are so heavy.", I sighed as I opened the door to my apartment with my foot and put two shopping bags on the kitchen counter.

"Well, we wanted to help…", said Gray with a slight hint of annoyance.

"Oh please. We've done that before, and you were always kicked out of the shops because you were nude, and Natsu would begin eating and stack up the bills by a few thousand Jewels.", I said, shrugging my shoulders. It was true, you can't go on a decent shopping trip with either of them. "And don't let me get started on what happened the last time _both_ of you accompanied me. I was in debt for two months!"

"C'mon, Lucy, don't be so mad.", said Natsu lazily. I opened my mouth to retort, but just sighed and shook my head.

"Well, let's get started. Natsu, please get me a bowl, and then leave the kitchen. Gray, can you help?"

"Why do I have to leave and the stupid ice popsicle can stay?", asked Natsu grumpily.

"Because having both of you in here would end in a disaster, and you suck at cooking. Basta.", I said and began with mixing the dough.

‑

Surprisingly, Gray was not only not as bad as Natsu as a cook, he even was a good cook, or rather baker. We had mixed everything together, the eggs, flour, sugar, salt and all the rest. All that missed was a teaspoon of that rather expensive oil and strawberries. Mira had told us that it would taste delicious, so while I pulled out the flask, Gray began cutting up strawberries. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"I'm going!", yelled Natsu and opened the door. What we heard next, filled us with dread and despair.

"Hello Natsu! Is Lucy at home?", we heard Erza say.

"Y-yeah…", said Natsu with a small voice.

"Perfect.", said Erza and entered my apartment, heading towards the kitchen.

‑

"Hello Lucy! Gray, you're here too? You really meet up often.", said Erza as she entered. She seemed to think we left her out as member of the team.

"Yeah, we do.", I laughed while pouring a little oil in the dough.

"Oh? You're making a strawberry cake? Another surprise for me? You don't have to spoil me.", she said curiously. Apparently she thought we'd set something up like last time.

"Yes.", I smiled, stopping to pour the oil in.

"What is this? Chocolate sauce?", asked Erza.

"O-of course it's chocolate sauce.", said Gray.

"Then why do you use so little?", she said and looked at me.

"I-I think this is the right amount…", I stuttered.

"Oh no, you can put some more in. I like chocolate.", stated Erza bluntly. She grabbed the bottle and poured the rest in.

"Oh shit!", yelled Gray and looked how the last drop left the flask:

"What is it, Gray?", asked Erza concerned. Gray looked at her, trying to come up with a good excuse. A second later he cut himself in the finger.

"I cut my finger while cutting the strawberries.", he lied bluntly.

"Oh my, better clean it up.", said Erza. "Lucy, you got a band-aid?"

"Yeah, in the counter in the bathroom.", I said, mixing the dough furiously. After a few seconds all the oil had blended in. I put the dough in a form and shoved it into the oven. Then I walked up to Gray in the bathroom, and Natsu joined us.

"What now? Erza will definitely the cake! Also, we put way too much in it! That thing is spiked over the top.", hissed Natsu.

"We have no choice but to eat it! At least we're pretending it", I said.

"Do you know how she is when she's high?", whispered Gray. "She's the devil when she is drunk, and her mood after our treasure hunt was strange."

"Face it, we can't do anything. She'll eat it, and we will run.", sighed Natsu.

‑

After an hour of chatting the cake was done. We took it out of the form, put the strawberries on top and cut it.

"Here it is!", I hummed, pretending to be happy, which was hard.

"It smells fantastic!", said Erza and immediately put a slice on her plate.

"You're right. I couldn't wait to it.", said Natsu, hinting that he had waited for a good day with us. Erza looked a little confused by how he phrased it.

"Well, let's dig in.", said Erza happily. She took a first bite and chewed happily. "Hm, it's delicious! But there is an aftertaste that feels a little off."

"Really? I don't think so.", said Gray.

"There is one, there is one.", said Erza. "Right, Natsu?"

Natsu looked up. "No.", he lied.

"If Natsu can't taste, it isn't there. I can't taste it either.", I said.

"Well, I'm finished. Now for a second slice.", said Erza; she had eaten her cake very fast. We three just widened our eyes in horror.

‑

"That was delicious! It's been long since I ate this much cake.", said Erza. She had eaten at least four slices; we ate just one. "A tea would be perfect now."

"I will brew some.", I said and went into the kitchen. After a few minutes we could drink it.

"Hm, that is a good tea. Lucy, you always surprise me.", said Erza. She took a few sips. "What is it?"

"Maryjane's Recreation Tea?", I said hastily.

"Mira's Recreation Tea?", she wondered. "I never heard that. I'll ask her for some.", said Erza. She misheard me, luckily.

"A-anyway, could you maybe leave after the tea? I want to bath.", I said, trying to get Erza out of the house.

"Of course we'll go.", said Erza. The boys nodded.

‑

Apparently drinking a tea with Erza seemed to take an hour. Well, maybe it wouldn't, but after half an hour we had felt the oil kicking in. Erza, who ate four times as much we, was totally intoxicated. She went on and on, pouring herself one cup after another.

"Somehow I feel so laid-back now. Somehow, I'm really on ease.", hummed Erza.

"Yeah…a little…cloudy…", said Gray, lying down on the couch. We all had slumped down in our chairs and weren't thinking anything. Sometimes one of us sighed in content.

"I could really eat another cake now.", said Erza.

"Yes, with strawberries and chocolate and cream and stuff…", I said dreamily. "Let's order some. Could you call the pizza guy, Natsu? I mean, Gray. The telephone is there, next to you."

"Mmh, okay, what do you want? Strawberry-Chocolate-cake with cream and no pepperonis?", he asked.

"Yeah.", I nodded slowly.

"Okay, we want three big pizzas. With pepperoni. And a chocolate cake with strawberries and creams. And no pepperoni on that.", said Gray and chuckled a little.

"Could someone put some music on?", sighed Natsu happily. I nodded and stood up.

‑

After an hour, or two, or just an half, I didn't know, the delivery boy arrived with four crates. "Three pizza and one cake. That will be 1200 Jewels."

"Thank you.", I said and handed him the money. He left and we went to the living room, everyone with his food.

‑

"This cake is sooo good.", sighed Erza in bliss. She had already eaten half the cake; well, we had eaten our pizzas already.

"Ah, shit, I've never felt like this in a long time…", she hummed. We were stoned as fuck, but she was on a record high. She was a nice one to hang out with when smoking a little herb.

"Man, we could go on a quest.", suggested Natsu lazily.

"Yeah, something with dragons and fairies…", said Gray. I giggled.

"Of course there will be fairies, we are there.", I giggled. Everyone joined in.

"You know, you should bake more often, Lucy.", said Erza.

"Yeah…and then we'll all eat it…", hummed Natsu. We were all content and relaxed, not coming down in the least. This will take hours…

 **A/N: Tadah, surprise! This is just part one! Somehow, I want to write a follow up! This story doesn't encourage the use of drugs.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

 **A/N: Here's the second and last chapter of the cake story. I guess this chapter will most likely be shorter. I hope it's still funny though. Enjoy!**

All four of us were just lying around lazily. "Should we really go on a quest?", asked Natsu.

"I don't wanna get up now.", said Gray. I nodded.

"Come on! I bet it will be awesome!", grinned Erza enthusiastically, but showed no sign of getting up. "We don't have to go all out." We sighed.

"Okay.", I said lazily. We stood up and walked to the door. I checked for my key and locked the door. When walking to the guild, I didn't walk next to the canal; I would most likely have taken a bath.

"What do you want to do? Slay a monster?", asked Natsu.

"Working as a waitress again would be nice. We can wear those awesome costumes again!", I said.

"Natsu in a suit really is a pleasant look.", smiled Erza.

"Yeah.", I said dreamily.

"I don't find this idea thrilling.", complained Natsu, but after a stern look from Erza he shut up.

‑

After a few minutes we walked past a bakery "I could totally eat a muffin now.", said Erza.

"Yeah, they must have a delicious fire there.", said Natsu dreamily.

"Stupid flame brain. If you eat the fire, they can't bake muffins.", chuckled Gray. We joined.

"Yeah, Natsu, you can't eat the fire! I want muffins!", yelled Erza. We walked into the shop.

"Welcome. What would you like?", greeted us a baker at the counter.

"Muffins.", said Erza with a joyous look on her face.

"Fire.", said Natsu with the same expression.

"Natsu, if you eat the fire, there won't be any muffins! And I'm sure the fire is expensive.", I grinned.

Natsu looked at the baker. "How much is the fire?"

"We don't sell our fire.", sweatdropped the baker. Natsu looked a little sad. "How many muffins do you guys want?"

"Four. Because it's Natsu, Lucy, Gray and me.", smiled Erza.

"Of course.", said the baker.

‑

We left the shop and happily ate our muffins until we arrived at the guild. We opened the doors and headed directly to the quest board, Erza went to Mira instead.

"Hello Mira! Could you please give me some of your Recreation Tea?", smiled Erza. Mira looked confused at her.

"Recreation Tea? Sorry, I have currently none.", said Mira with an apologetic look. Erza nodded and walked towards us.

"Have you picked a mission?", she asked.

"Yeah. They want us to help a few hours in their diner.", said Gray.

"Okay. Mira! We take this one.", said Erza and gave her the flyer.

‑

We went to the diner. This time we weren't at Yajima's place. The diner itself was slightly bigger; a couple of people already sat inside. We entered through the backdoor.

"Hello. We're from Fairy Tail, we've come to do the quest. I mean, the job.", said Erza.

"Yes, yes…you'll be waiters and waitresses. The outfits are in the lockers over there, they should fit you all.", greeted us a man in an apron, probably the chief. He left and we dressed.

"You look good, Gray. As long as you don't go all chipmunks.", nodded Erza.

"You mean Chippendales.", I laughed.

"Really? I could have sworn they were called chipmunks. Or was it cyperpunks?", thought Erza aloud.

"That would be Blade Runner.", butted Natsu in.

"Oh, I have yet to see that.", said Gray.

"My mother told me not to run with blades.", I joked.

"I do.", said Erza somewhat surprised. We all laughed, even though Erza probably didn't know why, she was just laughing with us. "Let's go."

‑

We started to work. Gray amazingly kept his clothes on – for now – and we all chuckled sometimes when dealing with customers. Suddenly someone ordered cake. Erza picked the slice up to carry it to the customers, but halfway through she looked longingly at the cake and took a bite. Within a few seconds she had devoured the cake and went back to kitchen. Everyone, guests and we three, looked confused.

"I bet this cake was delicious.", Natsu blurted out.

"I can't eat anymore cake.", I moaned.

"Me too. But some meat now…", said Gray.

"Yeah.", nodded Natsu.

"I think it's time for our break.", I said and we dropped everything immediately and went to the kitchen, leaving the customers alone.

‑

"What are you doing?!", yelled the chef as we entered.

"We're on break.", I said.

"You can't take a break all together!", he yelled back.

"Then we're on strike.", said Erza.

"You can't go on strike, you're mages!", he spat.

"We can, and we will.", said Erza firmly and opened the fridge.

"What the fuck are you doing?!", he screamed.

"Don't worry. Send the bill to the guild. Now, what to eat…", she said and looked through the fridge.

With a disapproving look the chef barely contained his rage. "I want a steak, make me one.", said Natsu. the chef looked as he'd kill Natsu any second, but then sighed and started grilling a steak.

"I'd like a steak, too.", said Gray.

"And I want lasagna.", I said.

"Excuse me, what?!", said the cook.

"Lasagna, like I said.", I repeated. He sighed again. He seemed to have realized that he had no other choice than to cook it.

‑

After a tremendous amount of eating, we were all full; it was amazing how much ate in a few hours. "A nap would be nice right now.", sighed Erza. She was still high as fuck; we were nearly normal, although pretty exhausted.

"Yes.", I said drowsily.

"Well, then you just have to close you eyes and –", said Erza and fell asleep. I giggled and closed my eyes, falling asleep.

‑

It was a rude awakening a few hours later. Somehow the cook had let us sleep, but at closing hour he cooked us out, with an enraged face. We decided to head back to the guild. When we arrived, the Master was waiting for us, with an angry look on his face. He held us a lecture and told us to pay the bill (it would be a constant gag in the next few weeks).

We all headed to the counter. "Some of Mira's Recreation Tea would be really amazing now.", said Erza. We all agreed.

"Four MJ's Recreation Teas.", I said to Mira. She giggled and went to the kitchen to brow us the tea.

 **A/N: Well, that certainly was short, but I still like it. I hope it was funny and not too confusing. Maybe there'll be another story like this, but that will probably take some time.**


End file.
